Saturday, 14 January 2017

Formal email: Self Introduction

To: Brad
From: Sharon Loo
Date: 14 January 2017
Subject: Self Introduction

Dear Brad

My name is Sharon and I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic with a diploma in business management, specializing in human resource. I am currently pursuing my degree in bachelor in hospitality business at Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). 

The reason for pursuing a specialized degree was that I enjoy the process of interacting with people from different backgrounds. It gives me a sense of satisfaction when I resolved problems that they encountered. Having prior experience in the retail sector and hotel industry has given me many learning opportunities and helped me in choosing my future career path. 

Recently, I had the opportunity to intern in the housekeeping department at The Ritz-Carlton Millenia Singapore ,which was the most challenging yet best experience. My responsibilities include cleaning rooms, checking rooms and being a housekeeping coordinator. I had to work with various departments in the hotel, and this made me realized the importance of communication. There was once when I overlooked a message sent by another department, which resulted in a guest incident. Since then, I paid more attention when a message is communicated to me.

These past experiences has also allowed me to discover my strengths and weaknesses. Being a housekeeping coordinator, I have developed effective listening skills and portrayed non-verbal cues to others when I am engaged with a guest. However, I tend to get nervous during presentations and this affects my delivery of the content to the audience. In the form of writing, mistakes such as grammar, tenses and limited vocabulary becomes a barrier when writing a good report or article. 

Hence, I hope that I would be able to increase my knowledge in communication through consistent efforts in reading, writing and speaking.

Thank you.

Regards

Sharon Loo

 Revised on 23 January 2017 

 Commented on : Alicia , Joey, Leon 

Posted by at

7 comments:

  1. Joey Lee17 January 2017 at 04:00

    Dear Sharon,

    Thank you for sharing. You are a good speaker and at times just lack of confidence. I hope we can learn how to be confident in speaking together in CPD II.

    Best regards,
    Joey Lee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown17 January 2017 at 05:37

      Dear Joey

      Thank you. Appreciate for sharing your thoughts with me and hope we can learn more in the upcoming lessons.

      Regards
      Sharon Loo

      Delete
  2. Brad Blackstone21 January 2017 at 23:17

    Dear Sharon,

    Thank you very much for this well focused, clear and concise letter. It's informative in presenting your extensive work background and some of your communication needs and experiences.

    Where did you work? What were your responsibilities? What types of coordinator were you? (that should be explained in text)

    I'm happy that you are willing to work on your "communication through consistent efforts in reading, writing and speaking."

    In that regard, please allow me to comment on a few language items:

    1. Overuse of caps

    Please see https://wmich.edu/writing/rules/capitalization

    2. Sentence structure / verb tense

    -- ...I enjoyed the process of interacting with people from different backgrounds and giving me a sense of satisfaction when I resolved problems that they encountered.
    >>>
    I enjoy the process of interacting with people from different backgrounds. It gives me a sense of satisfaction when I resolve problems that they encounter. (You still enjoy, right?)

    -- Recently, I had the opportunity to intern in the housekeeping department and it was the most challenging yet, the best experience. I had to work with various departments in the hotel and this made me realized the importance of communication.

    >>>

    Recently, I had the opportunity to intern in the housekeeping department, which was the most challenging yet best experience. I had to work with various departments in the hotel, and this made me realized the importance of communication.

    3. Subject-verb agreement error

    -- The(se) past experiences has .... >>> >

    4. Verb tense

    --- I hope that I would be able to expand .... >>> ?

    I appreciate your effort and willingness to learn, Sharon. I also look forward to learning more from you.

    Best wishes,

    Brad


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown23 January 2017 at 06:15

      Dear Brad

      Thank you for taking time to pen down all your comments.

      I have made the amendments accordingly.

      However, I am still confused on the capitalization part.

      Should there be any more mistakes, please guide me along.

      Regards

      Sharon

      Delete
    2. Brad Blackstone24 January 2017 at 19:40

      Your letter looks very good, Sharon. Thanks for your effort!

      Delete
  3. Koo Han Tong31 January 2017 at 20:17

    Hi Sharon,

    Thank you for sharing about your internship experience along with your strength and weaknesses. I must say I am able to relate to your experience as I was an intern in the housekeeping department before. Like you, I also enjoy the process of interacting with people from different background!

    I share your weakness too, as I tend to get nervous when presenting in front of a crowd. To overcome it, constant practice is needed and I hope we will be able to overcome our weakness through practicing.

    Have a blessed week ahead!

    Best regards,
    Koo Han Tong

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown3 February 2017 at 06:31

    Hi Han Tong

    Thank you for your comments.

    I am glad that there is someone who shares the same experience as I do.

    Hope we can learn more in the next few lessons.

    Regards,
    Sharon

    ReplyDelete

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